The Right Approach
Somewhere along the way…Chivalry was killed, butchered, obliterated, buried six feet under and diddy bopped on! There was a time when gentlemen existed…That’s right gentlemen (say What)! The doors were opened for you, chairs pulled out, billed paid (in full without a coupon) and respect was worn like a boy scouts first hunting badge. Not anymore! My great grandmother use to tell us, if a guy doesn’t open the door of the car for you. DON’T GET OUT UNTIL HE DOES!! (R.I.P Big Gramma). Well I tried that, Dude turned around and said “if you don’t get out, you gonna be sitting there all day” I told him, “I’m waiting for you to open the door” He replied “I know what you are waiting for, looks like you staying!” Needless to say, I never tried that again, I got my yellow behind out the car and opened the door for him instead (obviously this was joke, feel free to laugh). Even with the extinction of gentleman, society has made it acceptable for guys to feel entitled to the benefits of a real woman with no EFFORT.
Let’s speak briefly about the approach!
I’ve heard men complain about a female being a bird or the forbidden B word (ooooohhhh insert kindergartener tone). Said “men” approached the female with, Hey Ma! Damn you sexy! MMMMmmm I wannna get to know you mmmmm. Let’s take a second….Even if you haven’t graduated from eighth grade you know this is not acceptable (Females if you think this is, I hope you are approached by a toothless, leprechaun, with two fingers and a cleft lip). A man who truly has swag will turn it all the WAY UP! With a simple Excuse me Miss, can I speak to you for a minute? For me and the bestie…that sounds like a Trey Songz chorus mixed with Usher adlibs! Does this happen hmmmmm, usually NO! Then you men wonder why you end up with ShaNaeNae’s younger sister BoomNeriaquashaycha!
A few rules to live by MEN:
1. Come correct, expect to be turned down by a real women, if your approach is WRONG (or if you know you should have taken a couple more minutes on your outfit). Hey Ma, What up yo, what’s really good, have been played out as long as wearing your pants backwards!
2. Don’t complain about the quality of the women if you haven’t asserted a quality approach. You get what you put out.
3. Ask Granddaddy, Older Cousin, and Big Brother, Uncle Jimmy (Aunt Jemima's Husband) about Chivalry and when you approach said female use IT. If she turns you down call me (203)987-6543 (hehehe)!
OOOHHH FEMALES! You ain't getting off that easy, you have some nerve! Walking around with your lips poked out and telling your girl “ooh girl he ain’t about nothing”. Um you knew that at hello, when you walked by him and he said nothing but then he looked down and saw your booty. That’s when he yelled “Ayyyy Yooooo” and your simple tail jumped and skipped over to him. SOH (shaking our heads).. Now we need to be smarter, know what you want, know what you’re willing to accept! If this is what you’re willing to accept, do me a favor….PLEASE DO NOT PUT YOUR DISAPPOINTMENT ON FACEBOOK. You have been warned, so now we don’t want to hear it!!!! If you want a real man, demand more stop settling for what you DON’T want, and WAIT for what you do!
Love, Live, and come CORRECT!
Mi Amor
Monday, April 19, 2010
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Are our expectations realistic?
Are your expectations realistic.
So we have both been scorned by a "lover" as have many other ladies and gents. We as besties are always discussing what it is that we want out of a Man, emphasis on the Man. We have each come up with a "list". Now it has been debated that our expectations are not obtainable. Some of the things to list a few are: Tall, good looking, must have goals, must be able to hold a conversation, have a sense of humor, education or trade, not cheap, have a job or a good reason for not having one, must be good in bed (that's only on one of our list, lol. If you know us personally then you know who's list that is on, lmao) must be able to communicate, compromise, be sensitive but not a lil b***h, Passionate, smell good, dress nice, ability to dance or at least two step on beat, and absolutely Has to be God fearing. Of course because we are two different people some things vary and hold more importance to each of us.
We personally see nothing wrong with having a "list" and knowing what we want. Now we are realistic in the sense that we know we will have to compromise in certain areas, however there are specific areas that we are simply unable to compromise on, point blank period.
When it comes to relationships in this day and age, it seems like it is so hard for people to stay together and for two people to get and stay on the same page. People are constantly settling just because and in the long run they end up miserable. Now we don't want to come off as superficial or shallow, although we have questioned our selves a number of times. The truth of the matter is that we are physical creatures and physical attraction is usually the first thing that connects two people. Yes a persons intellect and emotion being is important as well, but lets be real when you see a person of the opposite sex or same sex for some, the first thing to cross your mind is not "damn he/she has a nice head, or a good heart, or damn the way he/she speaks is turning me on" absolutely not. You notice their body, smile, lips, eyes, complexion, even their wardrobe and then you get to know the rest. Now the physical is so tricky because regardless to how good looking they are that can fade away if there is no substance (that is for a person who them selves are of substance) however, sadly enough there can be an abundance of substance and if there is no physical attraction the relationship can and will dissolve, because it goes back to the fact that we are indeed physical creatures.
For some odd reason we are constantly describing what we want and how we want someone to treat us and in our life enters that person who treats us exactly how we have always dreamed but there is one little problem. We are not attracted to them, this is where we begin to question if we are shallow. Then we find Mr. physical dream who lays it down, but either does not meet the criteria or treats us like crap. SOH (shaking our heads).
Time after time its one or the other, never a mixture. So what do we do, go for Mr. wonderful with whom we have no physical attraction or settle for Mr. physical dream and eat s**t for the rest of our lives. If only there was another option, because being a Lint licker will never happen (no offense to all the link lickers out there).
Are our expectations unrealistic?
So we have both been scorned by a "lover" as have many other ladies and gents. We as besties are always discussing what it is that we want out of a Man, emphasis on the Man. We have each come up with a "list". Now it has been debated that our expectations are not obtainable. Some of the things to list a few are: Tall, good looking, must have goals, must be able to hold a conversation, have a sense of humor, education or trade, not cheap, have a job or a good reason for not having one, must be good in bed (that's only on one of our list, lol. If you know us personally then you know who's list that is on, lmao) must be able to communicate, compromise, be sensitive but not a lil b***h, Passionate, smell good, dress nice, ability to dance or at least two step on beat, and absolutely Has to be God fearing. Of course because we are two different people some things vary and hold more importance to each of us.
We personally see nothing wrong with having a "list" and knowing what we want. Now we are realistic in the sense that we know we will have to compromise in certain areas, however there are specific areas that we are simply unable to compromise on, point blank period.
When it comes to relationships in this day and age, it seems like it is so hard for people to stay together and for two people to get and stay on the same page. People are constantly settling just because and in the long run they end up miserable. Now we don't want to come off as superficial or shallow, although we have questioned our selves a number of times. The truth of the matter is that we are physical creatures and physical attraction is usually the first thing that connects two people. Yes a persons intellect and emotion being is important as well, but lets be real when you see a person of the opposite sex or same sex for some, the first thing to cross your mind is not "damn he/she has a nice head, or a good heart, or damn the way he/she speaks is turning me on" absolutely not. You notice their body, smile, lips, eyes, complexion, even their wardrobe and then you get to know the rest. Now the physical is so tricky because regardless to how good looking they are that can fade away if there is no substance (that is for a person who them selves are of substance) however, sadly enough there can be an abundance of substance and if there is no physical attraction the relationship can and will dissolve, because it goes back to the fact that we are indeed physical creatures.
For some odd reason we are constantly describing what we want and how we want someone to treat us and in our life enters that person who treats us exactly how we have always dreamed but there is one little problem. We are not attracted to them, this is where we begin to question if we are shallow. Then we find Mr. physical dream who lays it down, but either does not meet the criteria or treats us like crap. SOH (shaking our heads).
Time after time its one or the other, never a mixture. So what do we do, go for Mr. wonderful with whom we have no physical attraction or settle for Mr. physical dream and eat s**t for the rest of our lives. If only there was another option, because being a Lint licker will never happen (no offense to all the link lickers out there).
Are our expectations unrealistic?
Monday, April 12, 2010
"The Pet Name Game"
Ladies I know that you have experienced this at least once in your life. You are talking to or dating a guy and every time you speak to him or he texts you he never calls you by your given name, instead he calls you something like: baby, boo, ma, bae, babes, sweetie or some other lil pet name. Now you may have been naive enough to believe that you are special to him, smh, don't be ashamed we were also very close to falling victim to the evil scheme developed by the other species otherwise known as males.
Well not to worry we are here to help you see the light and ensure that you never fall victim to this pet name propaganda again.
First, lets think if he knows your birth name, however from the very beginning of your interactions/relationship he has called you one of the pet names listed above or perhaps some other creative name, he probably has numerous other females in his life and wants to keep you all in line.
Guy thinks to him self : " How can I keep all my females lined up and avoid confusing them and getting caught out?" "Hum, I know, let me call them all a generic pet name. This way I never mess up on anyone's name and at the same time they each feel special, Damn I'm the man, I got the game locked tight"
Here are a few small conversations that you may have participated in with your male friend. This is basically what his day consists of as he touches base with each female to make sure he makes them feel special for the day.-
@12pm
Guy to girl #1- "Hey baby, I miss you" Girl #1- " Hey, aww I miss you too, you just put a smile on my face" Guy- " You know your man knows how to make his baby happy" Girl #1- "Yes you sure do"
@12:10pm
Guy to girl #2- " Hey baby, what are you up too, I have been thinking about you" Girl #2- " You are so sweet, I am in the house I was just thinking about you too" Guy- " Damn I wish I was with you, I miss u"
@12:20pm
Guy to girl #3- "Hey baby, I just wanted to hear your voice" Girl #3- " I swear you are too good to be true" Guy- "You know you are my baby"
@12:30pm
Guy to girl #4- "What's up baby, I cant wait to see u" Girl #4- " I know I cant wait to see either, I miss you so much" Guy "If I was not busy I would come see you right now" Girl #4 "I know you would"
He has successfully made each girl feel special and like they were on his mind, when in fact he went through all the names in his phone as a part of his to do list. Now he must decide who he is going to actually spend a little "QT" with.
Ladies, ladies, ladies, please don't fall. As sweet as it is to be called a pet name, I want to hear my name. It is vital that my guy knows and says my name from time to time. Do not except being lumped into a generic category, you are special and should feel that way genuinely. If he is calling every female (insert pet name) tell me how special could you really be to him. Now he may try to tell you that he just calls those other girls (insert pet name) but it doesn't mean anything, however when he says it to you there is a meaning behind it.
Now come on (said with my head to the side and my lips turned up) who the hell is he fooling, not us and hopefully not you. There is no special way of saying (insert pet name) and what makes him think that you are fool enough to think that he means it when he says it to you but not to them.
Now ladies don't get us wrong we do acknowledge that there a rare few good guys out there who are "sincere" in their approach and the things that they say however, they are few and far in between so beware ladies and don't fall victim.
This has been a public service announcement.
Live, laugh, learn.
Well not to worry we are here to help you see the light and ensure that you never fall victim to this pet name propaganda again.
First, lets think if he knows your birth name, however from the very beginning of your interactions/relationship he has called you one of the pet names listed above or perhaps some other creative name, he probably has numerous other females in his life and wants to keep you all in line.
Guy thinks to him self : " How can I keep all my females lined up and avoid confusing them and getting caught out?" "Hum, I know, let me call them all a generic pet name. This way I never mess up on anyone's name and at the same time they each feel special, Damn I'm the man, I got the game locked tight"
Here are a few small conversations that you may have participated in with your male friend. This is basically what his day consists of as he touches base with each female to make sure he makes them feel special for the day.-
@12pm
Guy to girl #1- "Hey baby, I miss you" Girl #1- " Hey, aww I miss you too, you just put a smile on my face" Guy- " You know your man knows how to make his baby happy" Girl #1- "Yes you sure do"
@12:10pm
Guy to girl #2- " Hey baby, what are you up too, I have been thinking about you" Girl #2- " You are so sweet, I am in the house I was just thinking about you too" Guy- " Damn I wish I was with you, I miss u"
@12:20pm
Guy to girl #3- "Hey baby, I just wanted to hear your voice" Girl #3- " I swear you are too good to be true" Guy- "You know you are my baby"
@12:30pm
Guy to girl #4- "What's up baby, I cant wait to see u" Girl #4- " I know I cant wait to see either, I miss you so much" Guy "If I was not busy I would come see you right now" Girl #4 "I know you would"
He has successfully made each girl feel special and like they were on his mind, when in fact he went through all the names in his phone as a part of his to do list. Now he must decide who he is going to actually spend a little "QT" with.
Ladies, ladies, ladies, please don't fall. As sweet as it is to be called a pet name, I want to hear my name. It is vital that my guy knows and says my name from time to time. Do not except being lumped into a generic category, you are special and should feel that way genuinely. If he is calling every female (insert pet name) tell me how special could you really be to him. Now he may try to tell you that he just calls those other girls (insert pet name) but it doesn't mean anything, however when he says it to you there is a meaning behind it.
Now come on (said with my head to the side and my lips turned up) who the hell is he fooling, not us and hopefully not you. There is no special way of saying (insert pet name) and what makes him think that you are fool enough to think that he means it when he says it to you but not to them.
Now ladies don't get us wrong we do acknowledge that there a rare few good guys out there who are "sincere" in their approach and the things that they say however, they are few and far in between so beware ladies and don't fall victim.
This has been a public service announcement.
Live, laugh, learn.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
He's/Shes Just Not Into You......
Welcome to the opening of Venus vs. Mars..
Take a seat, relax and only kick up your feet if you have either clean socks or a fresh pedicure!! We hope this blog tickles your funny bone at times and causes you to want to respond to the blog of the day. We invite your point of view.. Let the battle of the sexes begin!! This includes you NAPPYHEADEDBROS.COM!!! (Big Shout out to my boy Show...the Blog King! You and your co bloggers better comment heavy!)
As 2o somethings, we have been approached by all sorts of men (term used very loosely) and we are guilty of being unable to tell said species we are JUST NOT INTERESTED! Instead we say everything else...Best believe this has happened to us as well. But because today is Thursday and Easter was only a week ago, we will let Karma handle it and NOT SAY YOUR NAMES... Even though its on the Tip Tip Tip of our tongue (Ten deep breaths lets proceed). We have developed five common ways to know he/she is just not into you! If this has happened or is happening to you....PLEASE SAVE YOURSELF FURTHER EMBARRASSMENT AND LEAVE THEM ALONE!
Girls if you heard these lines before...He's just not that into YOU!
#1 "I wanna see you tonight, we can chill at your place"..
Translation: I don't like you but I wouldn't mind some late night
chilling which will turn into "bend ova bend ova bend ova" (insert
reggae tone)
#2 Guy says "I miss you baby", Girl says "You should come see me tomorrow", Guy says " I can't I'm busy maybe in couple of weeks".
Translation: I don't really miss you, in fact I don't even care about
you. I'm just practicing running game on females, so when I do come
you will believe I actually like you more than a physical relationship.
#3 Guy: "hey baby I was thinking about you, i really miss you, MUAH".Girl: "Proove it" Guy: no answer for hours, days, weeks!
Translation: I just want to see if i really have you on my string. I call every girl baby, not just you. It's not a term of endearment, it's a term of deception. It makes you believe I am actually into you.
#4 Guy: how you been you been on my mind" Girl: "really", Guy: yeah I'm going thru so much, tryna get this money right, I'm struggling hard body".
Translation: PAAAAUUUUUSSSSEEEEE I wasn't thinking bout you. In fact I never think about you. I think about your wallet and hope your stupid enough to let me in it!
#5 Couple have been dating for a year, but they have no title, been on limited dates and have not met each others family. However, they dosee each other numerous times a week after 10pm..Guy won't accept female on facebook,myspace and def can't follow him on Twitter! Girl" I
was thinking we can go to church then dinner at my grandmas" Guy: "sorry my family is having dinner, I'm gonna go to my mothers church"Girl: " okay I'll go with you" Guy" ummm not this Sunday, I'm gonna chill with my boys right after".
Translation: know your position, you are a late night jumpoff... no more no less... His real girlfriend goes to the family dinners. Sorry!
Guys if a female says this to you...She's just not that into YOU!
#1 Guy: "I would love to get to know you", Girl "Find me on FB, let's try being friends up there first"
Translation: if we aren't friends on FB already, I'm sending you on a wild goose chase. Especially since my name is most likely impossible to spell!
#2 guy approaches female at a club, she informs him she has a man. Ten seconds later she is gettin lo on another dude.
Translation: sorry boo, I'm single but I'm just not interested.
#3 Guy gets the digits and he texts said female. female replies but only one word responses.
Translations: Either my fingers are broken, I'm illiterate or I'm
wishing u would STOP TEXTING ME!
#4 Girl meets guy they exchange numbers Guy "what's good I miss you,when can I see you" Girl "well i'm really busy, I have a ton of homework and I am goin to be working doubles.
Translation- I am not really busy nor am I that in to you, your main purpose is to
boost my ego.
#5 Girl meets guy at club, they dance and now guy thinks they are a couple. Guy " ma I'm about to go to the bathroom, I will be right back, ok" Girl "uh huh"
Translation: I don't care where your going, I'm going to move as soon as you walk
away. Guy returns girl is no where to be found!
If your crying by the end of this blog...this has happened to you....If your laughing....this has happened to you....if you are dialing compulsively...this has happened to you....If your posting on our blog!! Yessssssss!....Your task is to now either inform us whether you agree or disagree and then add other ways one would know if someone is JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU!
Hope this helped all your future dating adventures...and future embarrassment for that matter.
Love, laugh, live!!
Mi Amor y Mrs. Mix
Take a seat, relax and only kick up your feet if you have either clean socks or a fresh pedicure!! We hope this blog tickles your funny bone at times and causes you to want to respond to the blog of the day. We invite your point of view.. Let the battle of the sexes begin!! This includes you NAPPYHEADEDBROS.COM!!! (Big Shout out to my boy Show...the Blog King! You and your co bloggers better comment heavy!)
As 2o somethings, we have been approached by all sorts of men (term used very loosely) and we are guilty of being unable to tell said species we are JUST NOT INTERESTED! Instead we say everything else...Best believe this has happened to us as well. But because today is Thursday and Easter was only a week ago, we will let Karma handle it and NOT SAY YOUR NAMES... Even though its on the Tip Tip Tip of our tongue (Ten deep breaths lets proceed). We have developed five common ways to know he/she is just not into you! If this has happened or is happening to you....PLEASE SAVE YOURSELF FURTHER EMBARRASSMENT AND LEAVE THEM ALONE!
Girls if you heard these lines before...He's just not that into YOU!
#1 "I wanna see you tonight, we can chill at your place"..
Translation: I don't like you but I wouldn't mind some late night
chilling which will turn into "bend ova bend ova bend ova" (insert
reggae tone)
#2 Guy says "I miss you baby", Girl says "You should come see me tomorrow", Guy says " I can't I'm busy maybe in couple of weeks".
Translation: I don't really miss you, in fact I don't even care about
you. I'm just practicing running game on females, so when I do come
you will believe I actually like you more than a physical relationship.
#3 Guy: "hey baby I was thinking about you, i really miss you, MUAH".Girl: "Proove it" Guy: no answer for hours, days, weeks!
Translation: I just want to see if i really have you on my string. I call every girl baby, not just you. It's not a term of endearment, it's a term of deception. It makes you believe I am actually into you.
#4 Guy: how you been you been on my mind" Girl: "really", Guy: yeah I'm going thru so much, tryna get this money right, I'm struggling hard body".
Translation: PAAAAUUUUUSSSSEEEEE I wasn't thinking bout you. In fact I never think about you. I think about your wallet and hope your stupid enough to let me in it!
#5 Couple have been dating for a year, but they have no title, been on limited dates and have not met each others family. However, they dosee each other numerous times a week after 10pm..Guy won't accept female on facebook,myspace and def can't follow him on Twitter! Girl" I
was thinking we can go to church then dinner at my grandmas" Guy: "sorry my family is having dinner, I'm gonna go to my mothers church"Girl: " okay I'll go with you" Guy" ummm not this Sunday, I'm gonna chill with my boys right after".
Translation: know your position, you are a late night jumpoff... no more no less... His real girlfriend goes to the family dinners. Sorry!
Guys if a female says this to you...She's just not that into YOU!
#1 Guy: "I would love to get to know you", Girl "Find me on FB, let's try being friends up there first"
Translation: if we aren't friends on FB already, I'm sending you on a wild goose chase. Especially since my name is most likely impossible to spell!
#2 guy approaches female at a club, she informs him she has a man. Ten seconds later she is gettin lo on another dude.
Translation: sorry boo, I'm single but I'm just not interested.
#3 Guy gets the digits and he texts said female. female replies but only one word responses.
Translations: Either my fingers are broken, I'm illiterate or I'm
wishing u would STOP TEXTING ME!
#4 Girl meets guy they exchange numbers Guy "what's good I miss you,when can I see you" Girl "well i'm really busy, I have a ton of homework and I am goin to be working doubles.
Translation- I am not really busy nor am I that in to you, your main purpose is to
boost my ego.
#5 Girl meets guy at club, they dance and now guy thinks they are a couple. Guy " ma I'm about to go to the bathroom, I will be right back, ok" Girl "uh huh"
Translation: I don't care where your going, I'm going to move as soon as you walk
away. Guy returns girl is no where to be found!
If your crying by the end of this blog...this has happened to you....If your laughing....this has happened to you....if you are dialing compulsively...this has happened to you....If your posting on our blog!! Yessssssss!....Your task is to now either inform us whether you agree or disagree and then add other ways one would know if someone is JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU!
Hope this helped all your future dating adventures...and future embarrassment for that matter.
Love, laugh, live!!
Mi Amor y Mrs. Mix
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