The Right Approach
Somewhere along the way…Chivalry was killed, butchered, obliterated, buried six feet under and diddy bopped on! There was a time when gentlemen existed…That’s right gentlemen (say What)! The doors were opened for you, chairs pulled out, billed paid (in full without a coupon) and respect was worn like a boy scouts first hunting badge. Not anymore! My great grandmother use to tell us, if a guy doesn’t open the door of the car for you. DON’T GET OUT UNTIL HE DOES!! (R.I.P Big Gramma). Well I tried that, Dude turned around and said “if you don’t get out, you gonna be sitting there all day” I told him, “I’m waiting for you to open the door” He replied “I know what you are waiting for, looks like you staying!” Needless to say, I never tried that again, I got my yellow behind out the car and opened the door for him instead (obviously this was joke, feel free to laugh). Even with the extinction of gentleman, society has made it acceptable for guys to feel entitled to the benefits of a real woman with no EFFORT.
Let’s speak briefly about the approach!
I’ve heard men complain about a female being a bird or the forbidden B word (ooooohhhh insert kindergartener tone). Said “men” approached the female with, Hey Ma! Damn you sexy! MMMMmmm I wannna get to know you mmmmm. Let’s take a second….Even if you haven’t graduated from eighth grade you know this is not acceptable (Females if you think this is, I hope you are approached by a toothless, leprechaun, with two fingers and a cleft lip). A man who truly has swag will turn it all the WAY UP! With a simple Excuse me Miss, can I speak to you for a minute? For me and the bestie…that sounds like a Trey Songz chorus mixed with Usher adlibs! Does this happen hmmmmm, usually NO! Then you men wonder why you end up with ShaNaeNae’s younger sister BoomNeriaquashaycha!
A few rules to live by MEN:
1. Come correct, expect to be turned down by a real women, if your approach is WRONG (or if you know you should have taken a couple more minutes on your outfit). Hey Ma, What up yo, what’s really good, have been played out as long as wearing your pants backwards!
2. Don’t complain about the quality of the women if you haven’t asserted a quality approach. You get what you put out.
3. Ask Granddaddy, Older Cousin, and Big Brother, Uncle Jimmy (Aunt Jemima's Husband) about Chivalry and when you approach said female use IT. If she turns you down call me (203)987-6543 (hehehe)!
OOOHHH FEMALES! You ain't getting off that easy, you have some nerve! Walking around with your lips poked out and telling your girl “ooh girl he ain’t about nothing”. Um you knew that at hello, when you walked by him and he said nothing but then he looked down and saw your booty. That’s when he yelled “Ayyyy Yooooo” and your simple tail jumped and skipped over to him. SOH (shaking our heads).. Now we need to be smarter, know what you want, know what you’re willing to accept! If this is what you’re willing to accept, do me a favor….PLEASE DO NOT PUT YOUR DISAPPOINTMENT ON FACEBOOK. You have been warned, so now we don’t want to hear it!!!! If you want a real man, demand more stop settling for what you DON’T want, and WAIT for what you do!
Love, Live, and come CORRECT!
Mi Amor
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I guess this is where I am paid to offer some insight as a 'Fellow Door Opener', I'd like to make a couple of points and since we have evolved from animals feel free to follow me: Extinct means having died out leaving no living representatives. In regards to gentlemen, we are still around. I think some of us have decided to forgo our natural instincts and all that we were taught and somehow decided to follow a watered-down, rap city, Dixwell Avenue version of what a gentleman is. Its a lose-lose for both parties. What women need to understand is that they are the, for lack of better word, 'prey', and as the hunter, if it doesn't take much to capture you, then much effort wont be given. Its a woman's choice to decide what level of species she is going to be. If she is going to something that is easy to target, more than likely she will have a unskilled hunter on her heels because neither one of them know any better. If she wants to elevate her status, that necessarily wont stop the unskilled from seeking her, but it'll assure her to land in the hands of someone who knows what they are doing (i.e-an expert hunter) unless she falls in a trap set by a unskilled hunter which is usually in the form of Jordans and baby formula.
ReplyDeleteHere's a secret: Most guys are unwilling to approach a woman whom they feel they don't have a shot with. There is always a bit of apprehension and the F.O.R (fear of rejection) unless the guy feels as if he has something to offer that others don't and is extremely confident in himself. The good thing is, gentlemen of this type usually do have more to offer and confidence is a good trait to have. There are always pros and cons: The cons are that as a woman, you actually have to step up your game and appearance to elevate yourself to a level in which most guys will feel that they dont stand a chance which some women cant do. The pros are once you have attained this level of 'Divaness' most of the unskilled hunters will not look your way because they know that you can not be captured by their weak-ass arrows, thus leaving you available for a skilled gentleman to sweep you off your feet. That's my approach.
I definitely agree that chivalry has been an underused virtue in our society. I think though that as women, we have come to expect less and in turn have come to accept less. My mother always says that we teach people how to treat us. And, in a way, I think as a generation of women we have taught a lot of men but our accepting of their less that respectful behavior with a "boys will be boys" attitude.
ReplyDeleteAnd, as I step down from my soap box, let me just add that as women, we haven't all carried ourselves in a way that would demand any standard of respect. Every girl that turns around the the cat calls makes it that more difficult for the next girl to walk by.
Bebeautyforashes.blogspot.com
@4tune cookie- I definately agree with what you said and I love the analogy. I am very guilty of excepting less at times and therefore deserving less. In the mist of this it like I realize I am setting myself up for failure, however I continue to except little things that I know I will not be able to except long term. It is an eye opener to have read that despite prior knowledge. From this day forward I will not let the little stuff slid without voicing my concerns, and not in an annoying manner but simply to let him know what I will not except.
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